im drinking this country out of the recession.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
