I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
