Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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