Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
