You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
