Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
and she was petting her beer can
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
