We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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