My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
