too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
