Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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