I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
