NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
