If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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