I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
