pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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