he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
