Moan for me like Helen Keller
P.S. I can't hear my feet
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
