it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
