areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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