he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
