smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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