I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize
