I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
