we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
