I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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