i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Randomize
