to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
