The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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