being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
