he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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