She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize