I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
