is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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