I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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