you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
