You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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