Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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