Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just found puke in my bra..
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
