Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
