Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
