he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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