Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
