You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
