well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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