Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize