I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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