Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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