I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
