like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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