I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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