just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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